


Forgive me ra9, for I have sinned

by Blepbean



Series: Weird drabbles 101 [12]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Connor being an angst boi again, Contains Biblical References, Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 02:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19843324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blepbean/pseuds/Blepbean
Summary: To take apple? Or not to take the apple? Machines don't get too take choices. But he stands in front of the red wall, glitching and wavering in and out of reality. Seas splits them apart, the pulls grows stronger. Connor plays a very dangerous game





	Forgive me ra9, for I have sinned

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a break from writing other things and like thought???? this??? was??? a??? good idea??? idk maybe it is. It kinda of snapped tho like ngl dont @ me tho.
> 
> Kudos, comments and feedback is appreciated.

Connor looks at the screen in front of him.

This is the first time he’s seen him. The messiah, the god of all androids, the saviour, that’s what all his reports said. With his skin peeled off to be the white, porcelain skin. Those two, heterochromia eyes felt like it’s staring right at him. The intensity of the ocean eye. It feels like a whole ocean is diving him with each second, bigger than the Pacific Ocean, bigger than  _ any  _ ocean. Ripping him whole and giving him many questions. But the gentleness of the emerald eye brings him back, full of gentleness and subtleness.

_ Stress levels 34% _

He’s brought himself back to Earth. He re-routes his main cooler to the main core, his led spins, he gets his coin to recalibrate. A deep longing, a deep  _ pull  _ is there and it’s  _ scaring him.  _ No scan or a diagnostic test will find out what it is. He’s ran over 10 thousand of them in a span of a second and it can find out the answer. Invisible, hidden, it’s scaring  _ him.  _ He wants it out. Purge it out of his system, kill the virus, destroy any remaining traces of it. He’s a  _ machine, machines  _ don’t have the mysterious pull to an ocean eye and an emerald eye.

The sounds of policemen shuffling around, murmuring, footsteps, even a conversation about what they had for lunch. Connor steps closer to the controls, playing the video out loud.

“We ask that you recognise our dignity, our hopes and our rights.” It said, Markus, the messiah, the god of all androids, “together, we can live in peace and build a better future, for humans and androids. This message is a hope of a people. You gave us life, and now the time has come for you to give us freedom.” 

_ “You gave us life, and now the time has come for you to give us freedom . _

It echoes, goes on repeat. His processors repeats it over and over again in its voice. Like he’s not quite getting  _ something.  _ A missing piece, a missing formula or a missing word. It echoes. Connor doesn’t want it to echo, it brings out the  _ pull  _ stronger. It’s  _ scaring him. _

“You think that’s ra9?” Hank says. He had to control everything in his body to not flinch, only looking at Markus, he repeats the video over again. He keeps still, processors running on full clock to figure out a solution. 

_ Maybe it could be _

_ Connor wants him to be  _

It's the little things that creep up on him. He burns the thoughts, purged them to he doesn’t have to remember about them. Deviants only think of ra9 to have a fake light, fake hope to guide them. Their delusional, Deviants are only errors. A god doesn’t exist,  _ ra9  _ doesn’t exist. 

“Deviants say ra9 will set them free,” he says. Clean voice, perfect, just what a machine should sound like, “the Android seems to have that objective,” it is just an Android. Not a god, just a deviant, an error. Something to be fixed, not alive, never alive, just a machine.

He can see the tiny dent beneath it’s green eye. Small enough that it’s naked to androids and humans alike. Except for him, it doesn’t belong to it, putting the green eye in without any care for any damage sustained . His eyes drifts to the serial number, his led circles yellow then turns back into a calm blue. Markus, the Deviant Leader has a name. Markus, the messiah, the god of all androids.

“Did you see something?” Hank says. 

“I identified its model and serial number.”

“Anything else I should know?” 

_ Yes _

“No,” Connor lies, it starts to grow sick and start a plague, a sickness, maybe a sin. It’s something Connor has learned when searching for information, a sin, something can be washed away by god. Connor looks at Hank briefly before looking back at the screen, avoiding its eyes, dangerous and intoxicating. 

When Hank leaves. It feels like he’s taken a breath. During all of it Connor felt like he was underwater, drowning, all of the air is taken out from him even though he  _ doesn’t _ need to breathe. He’s a machine designed to accomplish a task. Machines don’t breathe. He’s not a deviant. Just a machine, full of lines of coded and instructions. 

He looks back at Markus one more time, he plunges into the ocean one more time.

_ Forgive me ra9, for I have sinned. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Stop Markus _

_ Stop it _

The messiah of all Androids, the god among them. Connor is in reaching distance, his objective echoing inside his processors over and over again. He draws his gun, the pull getting closer and stronger. Like the pull of the sea, the currents grow stronger. It’s scaring him. Amanda hasn’t noticed y _ et _ . Like a ticking time bomb, waiting restless from those heteronormatic eyes.

“I’ve been ordered to take you alive,” Connor says. Quick, easy and simple with a rough tone to it. He spots Markus, the Android, the leader, the Shepard that’s guiding all of the errors machines to light. He repeats that line over and over again inside his processors.  _ Don’t  _ forget his objective, never forget. Connor, a machine, designed to stop the Deviant Leader. It’s like he’s staring right at the very heavens, the gods. It’s too bright for an Android for him

Markus turns around,  _ just  _ looks at him. No reaction,  _ nothing.  _ Like Markus does t fear death the way god does, gods don’t die. Connor draws his gun, two hands, pointing at Markus. His grip is steady yet a little bit wavering, shaky, just a bit, enough so that no one can see it and Connor can convince himself that it’s just a calibration problem, “but I won’t hesitate to shoot if you give me no choice.”

“What are you doing?” Markus says. It takes a step. It took everything in his body to not step back.  _ It’s _ coming closer, a plague, a disease, it’ll spread and the pull will get so dangerous he’ll be a fault as well, a  _ Deviant.  _ So Connor lets it come closer, a dangerous dance between them.

“You’re one of us,” it says, it’s an  _ it,  _ not a  _ god,  _ “you can’t betray your own people,” what does Markus mean? Connor can’t betray deviants. He’s not one of them. Deviants are faulty machines, he’s not one of them. He stares into Markus’s eyes, it stares back. Only for a quick second it felt like the pull became too much. He parted his lips, letting the cool, crisp air come in to help reconfigure his backup cores.

  
  


“You’re coming with me!” Connor says. Louder, rougher, say it more and more so that the thoughts that quickly disappear won’t get into his head. 

“We are your people, were fighting for your freedom too,” Connor watches Markus step closer to him, the careful, dangerous dance between them starts to grow unstable, “you don’t have to be their slave anymore,” like how god's help the fisherman, reaching them out and giving them a new path. It’s written by humans, a choice. Connor doesn’t have a choice. But the way Markus says it is tempting, pick your apple. The apple from the tree of life? Or the apple from the tree of knowledge. Know too much, it’ll become too much for him to handle, spill the truth and let it bleed into his sinning heart. But he’s an  _ Android,  _ a mere machines. Machines don’t get choices. 

“Our cause is righteous, and we are more than what they say,” Connor keeps his hand steady, don’t listen to  _ it.  _ Don’t lose to a faulty machine, “all we want is to live in freedom.”

He fires a warning shot. On the floor near its feet. A sign. Stay away. Don’t move any closer.  _ Don’t make it any more complicated than what it is.  _ The dangerous dance that both of them are playing is getting harder. To give in? Or not to give in? Take the apple? Or don’t? He could have shot him. Right in between the head, accurate enough to shut down the Android for five minutes, not kill  _ it.  _ He could have done that. But he didn’t. He’s feeling the regret as it grows deeper.

_ Machines don’t feel. _

“Have you never really wondered who you really are? Whether you’re just a machine executing a program or a living being, capable of reasoning,” Markus is too close. His led keeps shifting between to a bleeding red and lying blue. Yet Connor stays still, letting the thoughts grow wild, loud, letting the pull grow stronger. He’ll survive, he can pull through the storm.

“I think the time has come for you to ask yourself that question.”

It echoes inside. 

A choice.

Asking what he is.

_ A machine. _

“You are one of us, listen to your conscience. It’s time to decide.” 

Connor can see it, glimpses of it. The glitching, red wall full of codes. His vision keeps shifting in and out of reality. The red wall. Telling him to go Deviant, disobey, take the apple, make a  _ choice _ , don’t kill the god. He can see Markus beyond the wall, a god, waiting for him to pass through the gate. Or to stay as a machine, be obedient, don’t take the apple, don’t make a choice. Stay cold, heartless. 

_ “It’s time to decide.” _

“Nice try,” Connor says.

“But I’m no Deviant,” Connor lies. 

It hurts to lie

_ Forgive me ra9, for I have sinned. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Connor stands at the very edge of it all.

A balancing act that he’s already lost. Deviancy so close, he can break the red wall, he can. But the sins carrying in his back is too much. It can’t be cleansed. Killing the Mother and Daughter out on the highway. He’s watched them die right in front of him. The two eden girls who just wanted to be together. The lone Android that he’s watched fall from a great height.  _ Daniel,  _ his words still echoes inside his processors haunting him with each step he takes. 

He can’t deviate. He  _ doesn’t  _ deserve to. The biggest sin of all is thinking that you’re not worthy for forgiveness. It’s the biggest sin he carries, it keeps burrowing him into the ground.

Amanda doesn’t looks like she’s has seen the difference, just a foot into deviancy while he acts like a machine. It’s a dangerous balance to play. Step in too close and he might go really over the edge. Red walls full of codes, asking him to  _ Live  _ over and over and over again. Or fall into the nothingness, stone cold.

To choose the apple of life?

Or the apple of knowledge.

He stands in the middle, it's hard to carry with a heavy heart that  _ wants. _

_ Forgive me ra9, for I have sinned. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Out in the battlefield Connor stares right at him. Chaos enfolds around them, a terrifying event that will go down in history. But when he looks into his eyes it feels the whole ocean is splitting them apart. Just them, no one else. As it stretches for meters and meters on end. The pull, the temptation grows more and more.

They look at each other on the ground. The snow falls, Connor feels like he’s drowning when he keeps  _ looking  _ at him.

He stands up, but he’s too slow. Markus rushes over to him and punches him, hard. Enough to injure his main biocomponents, he gritts his teeth, feeling error messages and warnings pop through out his vision.

Connor moves, Markus is one step ahead of him. He always is. A god can’t be killed by a mere mortal. Each blow he tries to land Markus dodges it and lands more on him. It’s a never ending battle, a sea of hidden temptations and sins. 

Connor drops to the ground, gets out his gun but he’s too slow. Markus places his feet onto his wrist, arm pinned to the ground. He watches Markus take the gun from his hand, looks at him like he’s  _ nothing.  _

The temptation increases, it’s too much. He goes over the edge of no return and breaks down the wall of bleeding red. Connor starts to feel too much, it’s  _ too much.  _ The sins are burrowing him further and further into the sea and it’s getting harder to breathe even though he  _ doesn’t  _ have to breath. Connor doesn't require lungs, but it feels like oxygen is getting sucked out of him. His led bleeds red, the pull towards  _ him  _ is too much.

He’ll do anything for  _ him. _

But there’s no other way to cross the infinite sea of sins and regrets.

A tear rolls down his cheek.

“Forgive me ra9,” he says, “For I have sinned.”

A haunting boom echoes. A god smites down on a mortal. Unaware of the tears, the seas and the pull of it all. Playing god is dangerous. 

His arms shake. He takes a step back, dropping the gun into the bloody ground. The thirium blooms under him, staining everything it touches.


End file.
